We've been horrible at keeping up this blog! I decided that instead of keeping things God teaches me to myself, if I had something worth sharing, I'll try to blog it. So here is my insight from today.
I met an eleven-year-old girl today at Judah's dentist appointment. Talked with her for about 5 minutes as she was waiting with her mom, one-year-old sister, and cousin in a Spokane medical clinic. All I know about her is she spent part of yesterday chasing goats. I also learned she has another half sister and a step sister. As we talked, I noticed her demeanor was very sweet but also noticed that her hair was greasy and unwashed and she was wearing dirty, old slippers for shoes. So what? Reading between the lines: she comes from an incomplete, broken, and probably poor family. This sweet girl didn't ask to be born into that family and those circumstances or to be constantly "mother's helper" for a one year old snotty sister. I felt bad for her.
But what about the other people in the waiting room? This is a clinic for the down and out, those supported by the state. Homeless men stared at Judah and I (with my 9 months pregnant belly)as overweight women with greasy hair and sweatshirts sat wearily down in one of the old vinyl seats. Did I feel bad for these people? Nope. I was struggling the whole time, trying to keep Judah from touching anything in this seemingly dirty room with dirty people. See, Steven had explained to me that from his experience working with a homeless shelter here in Spokane that the homeless CHOOSE to be homeless. They would rather have their drugs or alcohol than shelter or even food. Do I feel bad that they are addicted to drugs? Yes. But after all, they did CHOOSE their circumstances, even with all the help offered for them.
I knew my heart was prideful and wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to feel compassion for them and the bad choices they were making. That is until God reminded me of His mission here on earth...
Jesus CHOSE to take on our flesh and suffering here. He CHOSE to minister not only to the people that had received a hard lot from circumstances and society like that eleven-year-old girl. He CHOSE to minister to those who had CHOSEN their sin over HIM like the woman at the well. He felt compassion for them, not because they were innocent sufferers of the sin of others or circumstances, but because He understood the wages of sin which had taken its toll, often physically or emotionally, on these people, on us. Wow, what a new and humbling perspective for me. He CHOSE to take the wages of my sin, in order to free me to CHOOSE to love those who are still in chains to the sin they have CHOSEN to follow after.
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